News From AwesomeLand...

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Well kids, first things first, we are going to start this out funky and right. 

When you are done reading this (be sure to come back and comment though cause I oh so love the comments, lol) check this link out.  www.facebook.com/photo.php?v=1…; Now unfortunately I could only find a video of this on facebook, but it still rocks my socks.  And just so y'all know, this is the only video of this moment I have found so far that does not capture me rocking out in the crowd.  There is actually a point where you can sort of see me but it is blurry and I am behind some weird guy. 

So let me explain.   This is my most favorite drummer in the whole world, Kevin Murphy.  If any of you like country music then you might recognize him.  I met him way back when he was in another rock band.  Earth To Andy (my all time favorite band and also Andy is the bass player you see and hear in this video, adore him as well and he is also currently the bass player for Daughtry... if you like that band).  Anyway, this is Kevin and his friend Nathan playing a drum solo together at a reunion show for an incredible funk band called Egypt, that Kevin and Andy were in before they started ETA.  The show was amazing but this was by far my favorite part.  Well second favorite I suppose since Kevin did at one point yell "HI CRISSY" into the microphone and blow me kisses!!!  ;)

Okay so on to the next topic....

This pic I posted tonight...  Freshest Neck Scar by MySocksRock

So here is the deal.  I told someone here that I would take a topless pic if he did.  Of course I was only kidding because I am not a ... well I am not that type of girl.  The thing is, his picture upset me very much because of all his scars.  Friends... look... I know where you are coming from.  I have been depressed.  I still battle depression.  I have cut myself... I have burned myself... I have held a gun to my head... I have overdosed on cocaine with the intent to die.... I have purposely put myself in dangerous situations hoping I wouldn't make it.  So yes, I do understand.  I guess I am older now and I no longer have all those crazy hormones that we all get when we are in our teens and early 20's.  That and lots of therapy helped.  You know, the minute I stopped hurting myself... that is when the world came crashing down on me.  Getting cancer... having a baby 16 weeks early and watching her suffer in the hospital for 6 months never knowing if she would make it... almost dying from a blood clot caused by birth control pills... getting cancer again... having to go through hell to make sure my next baby didn't suffer like my first one... and of course... getting cancer a third time.  And that is just the big stuff.  There is of course little every day things... Break ups, heartbreak, my friends getting sick and dying, all the other babies I saw die in the hospital where my daughter was... and my kids dad beating the crap out of me over and over and over.  The world is a fucked up place sometimes.  These are the things that happened once I was adult enough to consider myself somewhat emotionally stable.  I went through hell as a kid too.  I went through things no kid should have to suffer. 

In spite of all this pain and suffering, I have accomplished quite a bit of good.  I am a good person, I do good things for as many people as I can.  I am a rockin mom.  I am a super cool friend.  I mean.. hell... I am the Queen of Awesome right?  lol  But seriously I do try to wear my scars with pride... It's only the scars I caused myself that I am ashamed of.  And I am not saying that all of the people in the world who cut themselves should be ashamed.  I am however saying they should stop... they should learn to love themselves.  Love yourself no matter what.  I was with a friend earlier and he was looking at my scar.  I was a little worried about him seeing it.. just because it is still red and bumpy and swollen and yucky looking.  He just looked at me and told me it will heal.  And I almost started crying.  I don't know why... but that moment mean a lot to me.  So I guess what I am saying to everyone else is... let yourselves heal.  It breaks my heart that anybody could feel so sad that they want to hurt or even kill themselves.  Find a way to move on from this sadness and need to hurt yourself.  One day you will look back at now and feel proud you have overcome this.  And do remember... it's okay to talk to people and it's okay to try get help.  Help is out there and if you need me to find it for you I will. 

All right... enough of my Doctoring....

Finally I want to talk about this great friend of mine who has been inspiring me like crazy lately.  I expressed to him today (or yesterday since it's 4:00 am now) my fear of not having him as inspiration anymore.  It's really weird, he is exactly what I needed in my life.  I was seriously looking for someone out there to move me... and then I met him and was so incredibly moved.  I don't know what will happen, I never do.  I would love for him to keep bringing the happy out in me but who knows I might end up getting sad all over again.  Either way it is inspiration, isn't it?  ;) 

But I really do think everybody should comment on my writings about him and say how super lucky he is to have such a badass woman like me writing sweet things about him... and then maybe when he reads all your comments he will realize how much I rock and want to ... well... I don't know what... but something good!  hahaha :)

Okay it's way too late.. or early and I am just stalling now because I am afraid if I sleep I wont have good dreams like I want to.

Peace everyone...
Luv me

© 2013 - 2024 MySocksRock
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Contradictory55's avatar
I love you too, wonderful woman you :)