I am grateful...

I am grateful for my kids of course... even when they are bad.

Today I was sick and laying in bed, on my stomach.  Probably only a couple of you know that I have a tattoo of a peach on my back.  It was my first one and I am kind of embarrassed of it!   Anyway my son comes in and jumps on the bed with me then pulls up my shirt and goes "MMMM Mommy!  An orange!"  Then he proceeds to lean down and pretend he was eating it.  This involved him licking my back!  lol  He is so weird.


I am grateful that my best friend finally decided to see a grief counselor today. 

I really didn't know how to help her.  But hopefully this will.  Sometimes, you just need more than your friends and family to lean on.


I am grateful for all of you...

Cause y'all rock my socks!


I am grateful for my church.

We are doing amazing things there... and I think it totally saved my life.


I am so very grateful for my amazing boyfriend.

For real... I think I had about ten freak out moments today and he was just so sweet and calmed me down each time.  I had to get so much blood taken from me yesterday that they had to use several different veins because apparently eventually the blood clots inside the needle.  And then this morning I got a call discussing my results.  They were not good.  And I was so sad and angry.  But when I talked to Robby, about it he was so sweet and reassuring.  I am so lucky to know him..


I am sort of afraid though.  Robby texted me this evening ... well this is what his text said... "In my heart I'm with you all the time but I'm at home and my heart lives with you."

He was sad because he wanted to see me but today was not one of our days to see each other.  I spent yesterday morning with him and I am going to spend all evening with him tomorrow... but we just cant spend every minute together.  Maybe this is easier for me because I have had a few long distance relationships and I know how to be loyal and still feel close to someone even when we are not together.  I would have loved to see him today but by the time we were both done with our days work, I was feeling so sick, I wouldn't have been any fun.  Plus, the bridge between our houses is closed this week.  So yesterday morning, I had to detour around it and it added an extra 20 minutes to my drive.  It's not a big deal and I am gonna do it tomorrow too... but I just don't see the urgency to be together every spare minute. 

Eventually.. yes.  I would love to have a future with this man.. to one day love with him... or more.  But not yet.  And I think he wants it right now.  And i feel like... by what he said.. I feel like I am hurting him because he loves me so much that he wants to be with me constantly and it hurts him that he cannot.  And me... well... I hate feeling like I've hurt someone.

And this wouldn't be the first time someone felt like it hurt to love me

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