Forcing Feeling AwayAs the sun rose this morning I opened my eyes and felt anger. I was angry because I knew in my heart that you always took me for granted. You still do. You lead me on then push me away, and do it over and over throughout the day. And just when my heart can’t take anymore, you worry me. You slip into that dark place and shut out the rest of the world. You can do that because you know that I will always be there waiting at the edge of your darkness. I will always be there wondering if you are alright.I spend each night sick with fear that something bad will happen to you and I will never know. If you died, I would just assume you were ignoring me. I have been ignored too many times to believe anything else. I tried so hard the other day not to look into your eyes. They always calmed me, they always told me everything would be okay. If ever I felt lost, all I had to do was look into your eyes. They found
Heres to the TearsLost in loss,Feeling alone,Finding a way to fight the pain.I’ve prayed so many times todayThat I’m afraid God might be tired of listening to me.I instead I imagine your smileIt soothes me.And I imagine the last words I saw your lips say“I love you.”Then I cry again and wonderWill I ever hear you say it again?And I pray some more.I pray for this hurt to end.But the tears they show me things.How much I love you.How much I care.I’d rather die than hurt you.You mean everything to me.The other night I laid in bedStaring out your window at the moon.I was warm, wrapped in your embrace.I slept soundly with the heatOf your body next to me.I dreamed your eyes were a riverAnd as I stared into them I began to sink.My only thought was“Oh, how I’d love to drown,In the blue of his beautiful eyes.”I cry because I miss youBecause I need the relief of your hand holding mine.I cry because I need the safetyThat I feel when I am
Who Am I?I am the one whose tears stain your shirt as you comfort me.I am the one who always feels safe and protected with you.I am the one who never felt happier before the day we met.I am the one who tells everybody, you are my greatest love. There is nobody like you. I am the one who thinks you are an amazing father.I see it in the way you love and play with my children.I see it in the way they look at you, they adore you.I know it in the way I see you care for your own son. When things go wrong, you feel them, and that is right. I am the one who knows what a hard worker you are.You care about what you do and the people you work for.I see when something isn’t perfect, you worry until it is.You are fair and honest; I know you are such a good man. Who am I? I am the one who feels worthless when I can’t help you.And I am the one who is lifted by looking into your eyes.I am the one who will always be here to encourage you.You save
Love Is Not SelfishMy love,as I trust you with my heartalso know that I cherish yours.Please share your burdens with mefor I want to love youthrough the good and the bad.I promise to never walk awayto never turn my head from you.Let me care for youin times of frustration and pain.If ever you have questionsallow me to help you find the answers.Alone we are weakbut together we can do anything.
To The Ones Who No Longer Love MeI forgive you.For the pain you caused.It must not have been easy after all,To know you hurt somebody. I survived.You may have knocked me down,But I got back up.I bleed, just like everybody does.And I heal.I can be bruisedAnd I can be brokenBut I will never completely shatter. In the endAfter all the tortureI still loveI still careAnd I understand All I can do is forgive youAnd pray that I am the last one you hurt.
When We Are ApartThere is a surprising warmthin the pain of missing youIt's because even when my eyes are closedI am still looking into yoursI know the sound of your whispersand the heat of your breath in my earStill when you are gone I feel youlying in bed next to me in the nightYour armswrap around me when I am lonelyYour soothing voice, your laugh,your sighs, echo in my head and heartI believe in the truth of your wordsand your actionsYou see, you fulfill me so completelyI am never alone, even when we are apart
Sweet DreamsRest now my loveLay your head on my lapI will stroke your hairAnd speak stories to youWhen once upon a timeBecomes happily ever afterYou will be sleeping sweetly Relax my darlingLet my fingersMassage away your painMy lips kiss away your worriesLet me heal you from inside outFeel me within youWith all my loveI will you peaceAnd hope that now you canClose your eyes and sleep Lie next to meAnd hold me in your armsLike you always doFeel our hearts beatingSide by sideLet the rhythm become a lullabyComforted by closenessWe watch the starsThrough the windowAs togetherWe now drift to sleep