All That I Had InsideI never thought I'd see this dark place again. Yet here I am, and it's darker and more cold than ever before. The air is thick and it is so hard to breathe. I am walking through a dense fog and I can't see a thing. It smells of suffering and disgust. The poison is seeping into my blood and infecting what is left of my shattered heart.I have always been forgiving, bitter but not vengeful. Always trying to understand the ones who have hurt me. And nobody knows better than you how deeply I have been hurt.My heart, my soul, my protector, I let you have a piece of me that I never expected to give to anyone. You took it and destroyed it. There is an unfamiliar passion growing inside me now. I have no choice but to welcome it, as hesitant as I am to do so.Embracing the truth of the fool I have been, I sit here bewildered. Love and happiness are no longer part of my life, and I can accept that. It's what you want after-
AftershockIt’s like a storm.He touches me like lightning, and I feel the electricity.Sparks exploding around our bodies every single time,yet every time he shocks me.He is the rain pounding on me, pouring into me.And my screams of pleasure, the thunder.It’s like a volcano.He is so hot, smoky red hot lava hot.Spicy, sizzling, blistery heat, always raising my temperature,and I melt when I am near him.Burning me with his passion, and then he erupts,setting a blazing fire inside me.It’s like a tornado.Strong, and powerful, my heart races when I see him.He plays with me, my head spinning like a carnival ride,until I beg him to let me get off.And he gets me off with dumbfounding ability,leaving complete destruction in his path.It’s like an earthquake.Rocking me, he shakes up my world.His violent vibrations making me quiver,as the walls come crashing down around us.And when it’s all over I continue to tremble for hours,wit
But My SoulSearching for sorrow, sadness soaks in as surely as the sun sets.Drenching, decaying, depressing It pushes and it poisons.Dreams of escape only last long enough to learn how to be hopeless.Tedious torture and daily defeat and then you accept it.A loveless life praying for the promise of an end.And the promises pass through your dead heart like the wind passing through bare branches.Shaking and breaking the limbs leaving lonely dust and fallen pieces.This was my existence...Then the corner of my eye saw you coming but fear kept my glance lowered.Suddenly the voice of my best friend called to me the only sweet sound I ever trusted.Instantly, before the next beat of my heart I was safely encircled in your arms.That is when your lips broke my world and I learned this is what it's like to be happy.
Hot DateAnticipationYour lips.The blush on my cheeks when you look at me.Your arms.Your fingers running through my hair.Your ten thousand wardrobe changes.My knees, weak when you kiss me.My heart beating fast.Breathless.Your mouth on my neck.Your hand-print on my ass.My tongue on your....Your toes.
He Never StoppedSomeone once told me that depression was like a dense, dark raincloud that hung over you and you couldn't escape from it as hard as you might try. I don't think I ever really understood because I have spent so many years running and hiding from that cloud. I finally understand now. I also know however that you can't run from this and you can't hide from it. Instead you have to find a way to rise above it, walk on top of the clouds and let the rain fall below your feet.In a world full of liars, deadbeats, cheaters and beaters it is easy to lose confidence that decent people do exist. Do you know how many times I have pinched myself in all the years I've known you just to make sure I am not dreaming you up? I will whisper the answer in your ear while you have your arms around me. There isn't much in life that surprises me, but I have said many times to many people how you do. You hold onto your passion and devotion in a way I can't imagine holding onto anything. I have been so
Caught Beneath the LandslideSometimes, I thank God that I cannot smile. Days like today, happy would just be too difficult to fake. I'm not depressed, I'm just in pain. Depression is a mental disorder, and pain is what happens when you get hurt. I am hurting a lot lately, but that is life. Isn't it?Life is being terrified. It is wondering every night if tomorrow will be the day that the guy you live with finally kills you. You don't want to die but sometimes you just wish he would go ahead and do it so you won't have to suffer anymore. And the people you confide to, they don't understand. It's easy to say it, but you can't be the reason your kids father is locked up. What would that do to them?Life is when the one person you loved more than anything tells you that you would make a good whore, because you want attention. Then you beat yourself up for saying you needed attention when what you r
It Feels Like PainJealousy...Watch while it destroys me.As it wraps its hands around my throat,my eyes are pleading...just...just choke.So thrilled for you,you and your happy ending.Even if it means I lost my company,and now I'm stuck here alone.Alone in my misery.But I wont dwell,and I like to pretend I'm well.So I grab my guitar and head to the ocean.I'll stand in the sand,and write you a love-song.I'll sing it loudas the waves crash over me.Saltwater disguises the crying.And I can make you believe,that I am not heartbroken.Not that it matters.After-all,in the end it's just pain.